{"id":1175,"date":"2020-06-22T09:13:19","date_gmt":"2020-06-22T09:13:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mgt.dept.shef.ac.uk\/undergraduate\/?p=1175"},"modified":"2020-04-17T09:30:16","modified_gmt":"2020-04-17T09:30:16","slug":"my-journey-with-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/mgt.dept.shef.ac.uk\/undergraduate\/my-journey-with-mental-health\/","title":{"rendered":"How I fell and how I got back up on my feet, my journey with mental health"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>By Olivia Chavigny de Lachevrotiere, BA International Business Management<\/em><\/p>\n

Going to study at the university is an absolute experience. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019ve had moments here that I could never forget.<\/p>\n

but\u2026<\/p>\n

It might not always be as jolly as I had imagined. I thought these years would be the absolute happiest, I thought that I would meet friends for life and become successful irrespective of what I do with my time. I even though I might find a future husband while at the university! That was my vision, and my plan.<\/p>\n

But I felt it already within the first couple of weeks. Moving away from my home country where my friends and family live – to the UK \u2013 turned out to have a greater impact on me than I thought. I refused to give up and did all I could to be out there and get the experience<\/em><\/strong>. I joined the A Cappella and Beatbox Society, became a committee member for my national society, enrolled on a language course. I also participated in many study workshops at 301, and the Entrepreneurship Skills Autumn programme. \u00a0I applied for the Study Abroad programme at an overseas partner university. I refused to lose the experience, with an intent to use the time I had to the maximum.<\/p>\n

But even then, I felt lonelier than ever. Never being fully able to express myself, but most of all not being able to find friends that I would feel fully comfortable with. I couldn\u2019t get close with anyone. Every exam session, I started either locking myself down in my room and crying through the evenings, or putting myself out in the library to be able to focus at all. I put on weight, ended up in a bad relationship where I felt suppressed. I felt like I always needed to impress people to be able to fit in, but it only caused me to persistently fail to open up.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I went on my Year Abroad to Amsterdam, met more people, I thought it went away\u2026
\nAnd then I got aggressively crushed.
\nIn winter, during my Year Abroad, I got depressed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

All of that happened during my \u201chappiest\u201d time<\/strong>, when I should be going out and party, and be all out there with people. But all I could do is stay in bed and sleep<\/strong> through the days, unable to fully focus, constantly catching colds and unable to accept myself, feeling hurt and alone. I felt like I was falling behind socially even more, seeing the new exchange students in my student accommodation in February, after the new semester started, spending time together, or at least knowing each other\u2019s names! I didn\u2019t know their names for months. I coped by binge eating sweets and watching TV shows, to escape my thoughts and get the sugar rush, and keep going. There and then, I knew it\u2019s too much, and I reached out. Here\u2019s what I did, and what ultimately helped me:<\/p>\n